f
a
m
i l y
m
a
t
t
e
r
s
: R A I S I N G T E E N S
I n s t e a d o f p a r t y t r i p s , m o r e t e e n s a r e t a k i n g s c h o o l t r i p s
a b r o a d o r
v a c a t i o n s t h a t c o m b i n e l y i n g o n t h e b e a c h w i t h v o l u n t e e r i n g .
clamoring for a traditional spring break
bash—and a rundown of potential dangers
may not deter them from wanting to go.
For these kids, an adult chaperone is
essential. “I wouldn’t send a 17-year-old
anywhere without supervision,” says Palmer,
who points out that adolescents need adults to
tackle both practical issues like hotel check-in
(which usually can’t be done by a minor) and
judgment calls, such as whether to invite
guests back to their hotel room. In spring
break hot spots, especially overseas, an adult
provides a safety net and reality check.
Melissa Spalding, of Atlanta, was eager to
chaperone her 18-year-old daughter Camille’s
spring break vacation to Puerto Vallarta last
year. While the tour operator handled the
logistics for the 50 high school seniors in the
group,
10
parent chaperones each supervised a
few students and sat in the hotel lobby to
monitor the comings and goings of the teens.
The mother of two is realistic about spring
break behavior, even with parents along for the
ride. “If you’re worried that your kid will go
and drink, don’t send your kid on the trip,”
Melissa says. “That’s just the reality of spring
break.” But she also sees an organized, super-
vised group trip as a way to avoid drunk driving
and over-the-top alcohol consumption.
Yes, kids will be kids. But parents shouldn’t
bow out just yet. “Pm always reminding
parents that neuroscience research has
revealed that the adolescent brain is far from
fully developed,” says Aaron Cooper, Ph.D., a
clinical psychologist with the Family Institute
at Northwestern University and author of
I
J u s t W ant M y K id s To B e H a p p y : W h y You
S h o u ld n ’t S a y It , W h y You S h o u ld n ’t T h in k It ,
W h at You S h o u ld E m b ra ce In ste a d .
“While
social judgment remains immature, it’s a wise
parent’s job to protect their teens from
situations that could lead to disaster.”
Pop Quiz:
How well can your teen
handle spring break?
If y o u ’re c o n s id e rin g a llo w in g a s p rin g b re a k tr ip , f ir s t g a u g e y o u r h ig h
s c h o o le r’s m a tu r ity le v e l, d o a g u t-c h e c k o n th e t r ip its e lf, a n d m a k e s u re
y o u r tr a v e le r w ill s ta y sa fe . S ix q u e s tio n s to a sk y o u r te e n — a n d y o u rs e lf:
What has his behavior been like lately?
if y o u r h ig h
s c h o o le r has p a rtie d irre s p o n s ib ly in th e p a s t, w h a t m a k e s y o u
th in k h e w o n ’t d o th e sa m e o n v a c a tio n ? “ I f th e y ’re h a v in g tro u b le
a t fo o tb a ll g a m e s o r o n w e e k e n d s , it ’s n o t g o in g to c h a n g e ,” w a rn s J o e B u sh ,
a v ic e p re s id e n t o f G ra d C ity , a M a s s a c h u s e tts -b a s e d s tu d e n t to u r o p e ra to r.
Who’s paying for this, anyway?
if te e n s s h e ll o u t th e ir
o w n ca sh f o r a t le a s t a p o r tio n o f th e ir tr ip , th e y ’re m o re lik e ly to
b e a tr u s tw o r th y tra v e le r.
What kind of supervision will there be on the trip?
J u s t b e c a u s e a to u r o p e ra to r has s ta ff o n s ite d o e s n ’t m e a n
th e y ’re w a tc h in g 24/7 . I f y o u r c h ild w ill b e tra v e lin g w ith an
o rg a n iz e d g ro u p , a sk f o r re fe re n c e s ; if s h e ’s g o in g w ith frie n d s , m e e t w ith h e r
tra v e l p a rtn e rs a n d th e ir fa m ilie s to a g re e o n g ro u n d ru le s .
How will she spend her time?
H a v e y o u rte e n
p ro v id e a n itin e r a ry so y o u k n o w w h a t s h e ’ll b e d o in g e a c h day.
“ If th e r e ’s to o m u c h d o w n tim e , k id s g e t b o re d , a n d th a t’s w h e n
th e y g e t in to tro u b le ,” w a rn s M a ry M u s c a ri, an a s s o c ia te p ro fe s s o r o f
n u rs in g a t B in g h a m to n U n iv e rs ity in N e w Y o rk . If th e r e d o s e e m to b e la rg e
g a p s in th e d a y, u rg e te e n s to fin d m o re fu n — b u t s a fe — th in g s to d o.
How often should he check in?
M a k e s u re y o u h a ve
a ll c o n ta c t in fo r m a tio n — h o te l p h o n e n u m b e rs a n d m o b ile p h o n e
n u m b e rs o f e v e ry a d u lt w h o ’s tra v e lin g . If y o u r te e n d o e s n ’t h a ve
a p h o n e , c o n s id e r g iv in g h im y o u rs f o r th e tr ip , o r g e ttin g h im an in e x p e n s iv e
p a y -a s -y o u -g o p h o n e . R e q u ire h im to c a ll y o u a t re g u la r in te rv a ls , w ith th e
u n d e rs ta n d in g th a t if y o u d o n ’t h e a r fr o m h im b y th e a p p o in te d tim e ,y o u ’re
g o in g to s o u n d th e a le rt.
What will they do in an emergency?
P lay th e “ W h a t
If? ” g a m e a n d ta lk a b o u t c o n tin g e n c y p la n s f o r e v e ry th in g fr o m
g e ttin g a fla t tir e to b e in g in v ite d f o r a rid e b y s o m e o n e w h o ’s
b e e n d rin k in g . (Ig n o re th e ro llin g e y e s .)
2 0 6 MARCH 2009 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
PHOTO: VEER
